


But you don't really care for music, do you?

by Cheesecloth



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: And also I'm Sorry, Crowley says Ngk, Fluff and Crack, I wrote down an idea ages ago for this fic and I refused to delete it, M/M, Memes, So I finally ended up writing it, Sorry Not Sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-02-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:14:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22746877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cheesecloth/pseuds/Cheesecloth
Summary: Crowley gets caught doing something embarrassing in the bathroom. (And no, it's not THat. This is T rated, kjhjsfkjh)
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 35





	But you don't really care for music, do you?

Crowley rushed into the bathroom. He’s a demon, so of course he hardly ever uses it. His shower room, which is literally all shower, is separate from his room of baths and his bathroom. The room of baths, of course, consists of three different bathtubs.

One large enough to fit a serpent of Eden, another that’s a jacuzzi, and the final one is classified. No one has clearance to know what his third tub is made of, or what it is for. With the unfailing exception of Aziraphale, of course. Obviously.

Regardless, he had no use for the bathroom. It came with the original flat. And while he’s changed the layout and amount of hidden rooms, he’d never gotten rid of the bathroom for some odd reason.

But alas, now, he finally has a reason.

He reaches the sink counter and takes out his tech deck. The wheels of the tiny skateboard make a clacking sound against the speckled marble.

Crowley uses two fingers to steer it briefly before using momentum to flip it. Air whooshes softly, but the tech deck lands safely. And so do his fingers. He pilots it for just a second longer before looking up at the mirror.

His reflection is holding his smartphone, which is currently recording nothing embarrassing, shut up.

“Seven hundred,” he starts, but then he stammers. No that can’t be right. Seven hundred? That’s ridiculous!

“Seven thousand,” he corrects, finally certain, “people in this world and I only have two friends-“

The door opens, and Aziraphale walks through. “I was just about to ask you why you’re in your restroom, dear, when you have absolutely no use for it, but I couldn’t help but overhear-“

“Angel!” Crowley screeches, mortified. When he turned around, his phone turned with him.

“There are certainly more than seven thousand people in the world, Crowley! Did you already get started on the wine?” Aziraphale peered at his phone and then at the tech deck. “Oh, what a lovely little vehicle you’ve got there, dear. Wait, did you just arrive? I could have sworn you got here by car-“

“Wh-I- no! It’s a meme, angel!” He didn't deny the possibility that he _could_ drive around London on a tech deck. Because come on. _Obviously_. 

“Oh,” Aziraphale took in the sight of his immensely flushed husband. “Are you making another one of those ‘Tik Tockies’?”

Crowley made a noise like he was dying inside, which of course he was.

“Can I join you this time? I don’t know any of your beloved ‘memes’, but I do enjoy catering to your adoring fans. I, of course, am one of them.”

The demon stammered, and Aziraphale advanced closer.

“I do wish to ask though before we make a ‘Tik-Tockie’… two friends? Is that me and your car? Or is there someone else, of which you’d find I’d be happy to be introduced to-“

Crowley gave a long-suffering sigh. “It’s just you and my car.”

“Well,” Aziraphale smiled brightly, “you are my friend too, and my husband! And I do thoroughly relish being one of your closest friends, but I believe it would be healthy if you made friends of your, as I said before, _adoring_ fans?”

“Now you’re just pouring salt into the wound,” Crowley whined.

“May I see your phone? Which application is it? I’d love to say hi, and to tell them how _lovely_ you are-“

“Ngk- I- Uh, you can’t, since I’m a demon, and I have evil things on my phone that would shock you to discorporation!”

Aziraphale put on a chastising look. “Is it pictures of cute sea otters again? I _told_ you, love, they aren’t _evil_ , they’re just very, very fluffy. What’s fluffy can’t hurt your ego-“

“I haven’t got _one_ fluffy thing in this house!” Crowley countered, even though it meant his statement was wildly contradictory on a few different levels. 

“You’ve got _me_?” Aziraphale kissed his husband chastely. “And while I was smiting dust from your bedroom, I happened to discover a hidden sherpa throw blanket under the bed, right next to _three_ pairs of fuzzy socks!”

“Nooooo,” Crowley cried lowly.

“I hope you don’t mind it dear,” Aziraphale whispered suggestively, “but I’m wearing one of the pairs right now.”

“Aziraphale!! I’m still recording- ngk! You can’t- oh my g-“

“Blasphemy, dear.”

“Oh my _gastronomical_ \- Fine, fine! Lemme just click the end-recording button. Whatever. Ergk- Fine, okay, I’ll let you say hi to my Tik Tok followers.” He pouted demonically. His reputation was going to go up in flames! Ruined! Utterly ruined! Of course, he didn't have to post this video. He's a clever demon. But he's also Crowley. 

“Splendid! Should we find somewhere with better lighting? We can take your mini-vehicle to the park! Oh, I love the park!”

The last thing on the video is the reflection of the mirror showing Crowley grumbling kisses against Aziraphale’s cheek. He looks at the phone’s camera in the mirror and flips a very rude gesture. Aziraphale quickly kisses the side of his ear, and Crowley “ngk”’s again.

“I love you, dear.”

“Huhkjsfhjkfh.” 

**Author's Note:**

> [The tik tok that inevitably inspired this fic](https://youtu.be/g4AtYutc2HI?t=96)
> 
> i didn't get a good sleep last night so maybe this is why i'm feelin' a bit unhinged r n
> 
> pls don't be angry at me


End file.
